I need help

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I need help. I’m on a verge of doing something stupid. I’m so tired I can’t even explain what I feel. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I would like to cry, but Ihave no more tears. Sometimes I feel numb, insensible,  like a bag of sand and I can’t move. A moment after I get so anxious that no medication works to calm me down and I end hurting myself. The pain I feel is  like a powerful anesthesic for the anxiety, the more effective. But i know it’s highly dangerous. I’m scared. Today I tried to talk to my doctor but he was unavailable. I want to stop this situation now. But I can’t do it alone.   I’m writing because I don’t want to go to bed  and be alone with my dangerous depressive state of mind. Nights are bad. I’ll be here untill my sleeping medication takes effect. I don’t want to do any stupid thing. I want to have both hands busy all the time.

Author: Olga Brajnović

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